**First let me preface this post by saying "Everything's fine and everything's been resolved." Having said that...read on.**
Last night I saw a side of myself that is vile and disgusting. It's my temper. I have certain "hot button" issues that that if pushed, send me from 0-100 in about 2.2 seconds. It's not pretty and I'm not proud of it. It reminds me of someone from my past. Someone that was supposed to guide me and teach me as an easily influenced tween/teenager, but instead ranted and raved and hit and threw things and made everyone walk on eggshells. I know I don't have the potential to be violent but I want to learn how to not fly off the handle. It's not even about anger. It's usually something irrational that's rooted in insecurity and inhindsight, never worth getting so upset about.
My question to you is; how do you control your temper? Count to 10? Deep breaths? What? I need help here because this is a dark spot on what kind of person I am and I don't want it there anymore.
My question to you is; how do you control your temper? Count to 10? Deep breaths? What? I need help here because this is a dark spot on what kind of person I am and I don't want it there anymore.
4 comments:
Cyndi, I too have this issue to deal with, though I think I've gotten better. Certainly I'm not as negative as I used to be (mainly because I don't live at home anymore where much of the conversation is negative, plus my mother's depression), but I still have anger management issues. I don't get nutty, meaning I don't throw things or slam doors, but I need to find a way to handle it a bit better, especially now that i'm living with mr. laidbackman. For me, the best thing is just to be alone for a bit and calm the hell down. That's it. Not be around anyone. I have this scary way of shutting down emotions and just letting my words rip holes and I can go on forever with that and so the best thing for peace in the world is to remove myself from the situation.
that is pretty unfriendly advice as it doesn't help you, but i just wanted to let you know i understand where you're coming from.
I think calming down is the key. Removing myself from the situation and allowing the feeling to lessen before I react and say something stupid.
Plus, losing it every once in a while is pretty human. As long as you are not punching G in the face, it's cool. That's what make up sex is all about (i can sex because you are a married lady)
i agree with rabsy...losing it can be good for the soul. just as long as it's not all the time. everyone has certain issues that drive them mad. my personal feeling is that you are definitely allowed a couple of these issues in a marriage. you've got to keep your sanity somehow. if my hubby deliberately chooses to pick on my "hot button" things, then he KNOWS what he going to get. namely, me going ballistic. i don't feel guilty since i allow him his couple of "hot button" issues too.
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